comedy

  1. R

    Hey Siri!

    Try this for a laugh. Say: "Hey Siri, I saw a little silhouetto of a man" Wait for Siri's reply.
  2. J

    Seasonal Joke

    A young lady had driven her car through a hedge and into a field down a very snowy and slippery road. Fortunately the farmer, who owned the field, came along in his tractor and proceeded to withdraw the car. His neighbour came along to speak to him and the farmer said, “I’ll be with you as soon...
  3. L

    Joke

    Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.
  4. K

    Goodbye, Daddy

    A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know, Daddy, it...
  5. K

    Italian Funeral

    A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man...
  6. K

    The Engineer

    An Engineer dies... and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down...
  7. P

    Confession time.

    This might only appeal to those who know anything about English rugby. A bride on her wedding night turns to the new hubby & says, “darling I must confess, before we met I was a hooker” The stunned husband thought for a minute then decided ‘hey this might be exiting!’ So he said ” darling your...
  8. P

    Tech Support

    Yep. They walk among us............................................................ Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one… Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left...
  9. K

    Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die

    A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to...
  10. K

    Fidelity Test

    I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. So we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini...
  11. D

    Me and the Genie....

    So, I'm standing there talking to the magic Genie and he tells me, "I'm here to give you three wishes, but you must understand, whatever you wish for I will give 10 times your wish to your evil ex-wife. What is your First wish?" "Hmmmmm, for my first wish I'd like to shoot a near perfect golf...
  12. K

    Officers vs. NCOs

    The difference between Officers and NCOs A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade, But the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated. Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army. Many years later he eventually...
  13. D

    Yeah, I died yesterday and went to hell......

    Yeah, I died yesterday and went to hell and sure enough, hell was just as I expected. There was fire and brimstone everywhere, pits of lava holding people who were screaming in agony, little red guys with pointy tails chasing people and poking them with flame tipped pitchforks. Everything that...
  14. D

    Poets and Heaven

    It just so happens two poets die on the same day. Both spirits are headed to heaven. At the Pearly Gates an angel tells them, "We are only allowed to have one poet enter each day, so to help make the choice which of you gets in today, I want each of you to write a poem.....the only thing you...
  15. K

    Psychiatrist vs. Bartender

    Psychiatrist vs. Bartender Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him: “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.” “Just put yourself in my hands...
  16. K

    Not So Senile

    A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, 'No, I'd...
  17. K

    Sex & Grammer

    On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the...
  18. P

    Power cut

    I had a power cut at my house this morning. My PC, Laptop, TV, DVD, Ipad and new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was dead. To top it off, it was raining so I couldn’t go for a walk, bike, or run. The garage door opener needed...
  19. R

    Unknown story about Henry Ford

    The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that...
  20. B

    Dude food

    I didn't know one of our Devi's had his own Ben & Jerrys Flavor Ice Cream! Thanks for sharing,now we really know what your doing when your not on the site or available,lmao