Italian Funeral


New member
Sep 25, 2013
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he
noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the
nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse
about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a
solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short
distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully
approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry
for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've
never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her
and killed her also.”

A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood
and silence passed between the two men.

The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in the line."


New member
Aug 27, 2013
THAT ... is a great joke!

Of course, you know it's going to remind me of a similar joke.....

A man dies and his wife, who is a traditionalist, wants to put a notice in her local newspaper about his death. The ad page rep tells her, "well it's 5 lines, 35 words maximum for 7 days, $135.00". She gasps and say, "that's way too much...what else do you have?"

The ad rep replies, "well, we have 3 lines, 25 words for 5 days for $89.00." The widow is still taken back and replies, "goodness, no, that's still too rich for me!"

The ad rep then says, "ok, I'll tell ya what.... I can give ya 2 lines, 5 words for 2 days and it'll only cost you $9.99!" She says, "YES, sold! I'll take that deal!"

The ad rep asks, "okay...what do you want the ad to say?" She replies, "Tom's dead, Car for Sale" :)
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