Joke

Leicesterfan

Member
Jun 4, 2014
103
0
16
Although it`s been years I`ll never forget what my noisy nextdoor neighbour said to me just before he died ,



"How`d you get into my house and what`s the hammer for ?".
 

Leicesterfan

Member
Jun 4, 2014
103
0
16
While golfing, a senior gentleman accidentally overturned his golf cart late one afternoon.
A very attractive, young, female golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK?"
"I’m OK, thanks," he replied, as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later."
The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
"That’s mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don’t think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now!" she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. He was weak.
"Well, OK," he finally agreed.
After a couple of Scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now."
"Don’t be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. Your wife won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?"
He replied, "Still under the cart, I suppose.
 

JNRW

New member
Oct 13, 2014
151
1
0
While golfing, a senior gentleman accidentally overturned his golf cart late one afternoon.
A very attractive, young, female golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK?"
"I’m OK, thanks," he replied, as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later."
The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
"That’s mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don’t think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now!" she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. He was weak.
"Well, OK," he finally agreed.
After a couple of Scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now."
"Don’t be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. Your wife won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?"
He replied, "Still under the cart, I suppose.
That's good. Keep them coming.
 

Leicesterfan

Member
Jun 4, 2014
103
0
16
"I decided to have a map of Italy tattooed on my chest. Bad decision really, I ended up with incredibly sore Naples"
 

Leicesterfan

Member
Jun 4, 2014
103
0
16
A friend just phoned to tell me he had changed his name by deed poll to Spinal Column,


I said "Can I call you back ?"
 

Kencran

New member
Nov 19, 2017
3
0
0
Did you know in King Arthur's time, one of the knights of round table collected taxes?

His name was "Sir Charge"

:D
 

Leicesterfan

Member
Jun 4, 2014
103
0
16
My mate Dave says to me "Do you want to hear my really good Batman impression?"


"Go on then" I replied.


"NOT THE KRYPTONITE!" he screamed.


I said "That's Superman"


He said "Thanks man, I've been practicing"